What I Have Learnt In My 30s

August 27, 201321 Comments

It was my birthday earlier this month. I am 35. I like this age. In fact I like my thirties. I think its my favourite decade so far for a number of reasons. The main reason is I have developed a much stronger sense of couldn’t carelessness especially with regards what others may think of me, that I was lacking when I was younger. It really does make life easier. It is my favourite thing about my 30s.

Here are some others things I do now that I would never have done in my twenties and things I have learned in my 30s.

I do not try to hide my singing and dancing in the car. If someone in the next line of traffic sees me, I smile at them instead of pretending I wasn’t singing aloud to gangsta rap.
I talk to strangers more. I randomly start chatting to people in queues and in shops.
I have a much greater respect for coffee and its importance in life.
I understand the importance of a decent bra.
I have been known to wear track suit bottoms outside the house and the sky did not fall in. For outside wear in emergency purposes only, of course.
Heels are over rated. It’s ok for comfort to trump additional height.
It is better to answer blocked numbers on the phone and be honest with financial institutions that you owe money to. Ignoring them does not make them go away.
Naps are a thing of beauty.
You are responsible for your own happiness.
Quickies are not a bad thing.
Good eyebrows can act like a mini face lift.
Shots should only be drunk sparingly and on special occasions, if ever.
If you’re not happy, say it. People are not mind readers.
Depression is a lot more common than I thought.
If you need help, ask for it. It wont always be offered.
Marriage is more about compromise than fairy tales and that is a good thing.
Sometimes being handed dinner and promised a sleep in is as romantic as fuck.
Good friends should never be taken for granted and that its ok if you don’t see your friends every week, they are still your friends.
Sometimes you just need to spend €40 on new pyjamas, hair bobbins and a top you may never wear In Penneys and the world will look brighter again.
Nobody really gives a fiddlers what you look like on the beach, only you.
The importance of counting blessings.

via take5massage.com

What’s on your list?

It All Adds Up

August 25, 201314 Comments

Via webbracem.com

My two eldest children are back to school next week. The cost of uniforms, books, shoes and everything else comes in at just under €1000. For two small children. We have spread the cost over the last few months school costs June, books July, uniform and shoes , August.

Uniforms, school books, stationary, bags, lunch boxes, school contribution, socks, runners, we will hold off until October to buy new coats. The costs go up every year.

I was going through their school books the other evening. I bought the exact same set of books for my daughter two years ago as I did for my son this year. Next year I will buy a third set of the same books. They are all workbooks, they cannot be passed down.

This is the first year neither of my children will be taught in a prefab building. Fingers crossed next year, the building of their new school will be complete and none of them will be taught in a prefab again. The school have been fighting and fund raising for this building since the 1970s.

My school bill could be cheaper but it’s often a false economy buying cheaper uniform items or shoes as ,I have found, they do not last and need to be replaced within weeks. It all adds up. We have two incomes, we have paid for almost all the back to school costs now, the car tax will have to wait another month though, again.

What about people without two incomes though or without any income? The Back to School allowance is available to those in receipt of qualifying welfare payments. The rate is €100 per child for children aged 4-11 years and €200 for children aged 12 +. That will not go far. My small children cost almost 1k for two, a child starting secondary schools uniform, books and extras can cost double or even triple that.

There are children who will start school next week and their parents will go hungry to ensure they have everything they need. There are children who will start school next week without everything they need. There are children who will start school next week hungry.

This is the free education all children of Ireland are entitled too.

Via athletesfoot.com

Again, I appreciate, I am in a much more fortunate position than many, the back to school costs are increasing each year but we are managing. Something else is falling down the list of things that need to be paid though as a result.

Surely savings can be made somewhere. Would a universal book rental scheme for school going children be that hard to organise? Do small children need two uniforms per week? My children wear a crested uniform three days per week and a crested track suit the other two days. Could junior classes not just wear the track suit? Is a tax credit for parents with school going children against education costs too impossible to implement?

I have friends who look forward to their children starting school so their childcare bill will be reduced or ended. Sorry to burst the bubble but you still need childcare if your children are in school even if you work part-time or term time. You also need a flexible employer. Thankfully I have one. I am lucky. I can work around school meetings and plays and masses. I can run if the school phones if one of my children are sick. I can take a half day if the school has a half day. I still need childcare though and I work part-time. I am lucky though, very few parents have this flexibility.The costs continue. The taxes keep climbing.

Via mindmillion

The out goings wont stop next week. September also heralds the return to extra curricular activities. I know and appreciate these are optional extras but I want my children to learn to swim or to engage in team sports. I choose for my children to do these activities. They do not have to. Even with two incomes coming into the household we will have to let the kids choose one activity to partake in. One each because despite the two incomes, that is all we can afford, after all we have corrupt banks, ex politicians and bondholders to support.

So everything will be paid for we will sit back and breathe for a bit but the requests will come home from school regularly. Please pay X amount by Friday for this that and the other. Fundraising please pay X per child. I do not blame the school, the school relies heavily on fund-raising as their budgets have been slashed too. Its more money though that has to be found from somewhere and the back of mind when I get these requests from the school with really short notice, I always think, well there must be one family reading this note that this will be the straw that breaks them. It wont be me but there for but the grace of god go I, it might be me in the future. How do we fix this? How do we make all these costs more manageable?

My youngest daughter starts here ECCE free preschool year next week. The free preschool year is one of the rare great legacies from the Fianna Fail era. This will be my third child to avail of free preschool. My eldest daughter only got it for a few months as she was in preschool when it started. It is a brilliant initiative. Every child in Ireland is entitled to a year of free preschool. Wouldn’t it be great if every child in Ireland was entitled to free education until they are 18 and something could be fixed as the current system is broken. Until then I will go back to watering my money tree and hope it starts to grow soon.

Three Reasons Why Ben Affleck As Batman Is News To Be Celebrated

August 24, 20135 Comments

A brief note on the best news on the internet this week……..

Gameideas.com

On Thursday evening Warner Bros announced Ben Affleck is to be the next Batman. The internet exploded with people giving out about the choice. Deluded people. Memes, petitions and comic book nerds angst took over the internet yesterday, complaining about Affleck’s new role.

It is the best news I heard all week. News to be celebrated. This is why:

Ben Affleck will be wearing this…..

Via nerdist.com

2. Ben Affleck will be wearing the above and will be available to view on the big screen in full technicolour glory. Wearing the above. Being a Superhero. Wearing the above.

3. Batman costume sellers are going to make a fortune. It could be a bit awkward to ask your spouse/partner/ bed mate to dress up as Ben Affleck in bed. He might in all likelihood turn you down. Awkward for everyone. Asking him to dress up as Batman? He will agree. He will love it. Everyone will love it. Win – win for everyone involved.

Roll on Summer 2015.

A Very Fine Glamping Experience

August 21, 201315 Comments

We have the week off this week. Holidaying at home. The kids have a list of things they want to do this Summer. We are trying to tick off this list this week. A constant any time they make a list like this is always- Camping.

This is how I feel about Camping

So the camping requests have always been ignored. Last week I tried to book a hotel for a night or two away in Ireland for the five of us. It would have been easier and ,in some cases,less expensive to book a trip to the space station. Hotels- FYI- lots of families have more than two children and do not want to stay in a hotel and leave small children in a separate hotel room. Anyway I digress, the hotel booking did not work out. Then I remembered Glamping.

The Collins Dictionary defines Glamping as :

noun

a form of camping in which participants enjoy physical comforts associated with more luxurious types of holiday.

Or in my words- Glamping- its like camping for those who cant actually handle camping.

Sold. Some googling, emails and calls later and we were booked for a night with Wildflower Glamping in Co. Cavan. This was to be our home for the night

Via Wildflowerglamping.ie

I posted looking for camping advice on my Facebook page. There was much hilarity from my friends. I failed to mention the glamping part. They felt cheated when they found out I would be sleeping in a bed and not on the ground.

So off we set. Much excitement from the kids. Mild trepidation from me. We followed the road signs to the site. Took the turn off the main road, drove on and on. Into the middle of nowhere. Miles from a street light. My trepidation increased. I’m not a fan of the dark. We encountered some cows on the road just before we arrived. I was driving. The husband was telling me to drive around them. The cows kept walking in front of the car. I double checked the central locking and tried not to hit the husband or a cow. We all survived and arrived at the site. The website does not do Wildflower Glamping justice. It was perfect. So pretty. Small playground on site. All lovely. There were two other families staying on the site so we didn’t see much of the older two kids from the time we arrived till we left again. They played the whole time.

Via Wildflower Glamping

As well as the luxury of beds we also had a shed beside our tent with electricity, sink and a kettle. Far from slumming it. The kids played. Myself and the husband read. It got dark. Fire was lit, marshmallows were toasted, ghost stories were told. I was sipping a glass of red wine thinking this is perfect.

The husband was very proud of his fire.

Then it started to rain a bit. Then it got cold, very quickly. I glanced at the three year old who looked as cold as I felt. She is more like me than I thought.

The small girl and I snuggled up in bed

We took ourselves off to bed and left the others to the campfire. It was not actually that cold it was obviously psychosomatic. it being a mild August night but I was freezing- long sleeved t-shirt, nightdress, fleece pyjama bottoms, leg warmers were put on and myself and the littlest one took ourselves to bed with hot water bottles (provided in the tent, like I said far from slumming it.)

The beds were really comfortable. The shared bathrooms were perfect. Not a sentence I ever imagined writing. The husband went to investigate them when we arrived. I asked anxiously where they ok. His reply. Cleaner than at home. The whole place was lovely and it was a touch magical once we all went to bed lying there under the fairy lights.

Woke up at 2.30am sweating and bursting to go the bathroom. The pitch blackness stopped me from going thought. I really don’t like pitch darkness. I have an over active imagination, thoughts of crazed cows or serial killer lying in wait preventing making the 3o foot trek to the bathroom. Apart from the full bladder, I slept ok. Everyone else slept perfectly.

Would I recommend? Absolutely. The kids adored it “best night ever” according to the big girl and boy. Next time I will bring earplugs ( who knew cows were so noisy?) and a catheter and a travel mug for my wine/coffee as everything I drank had a wasp swimming in it before I finished. Great fun though and perfect for those not at one with the great outdoors, like myself. Will visit again and hopefully visit some of the other Glamping sites around Ireland next year.

Via Wildflower Glamping

See Wildflower Glamping – www.wildflowerglamping.ie for prices and booking. Next on my glamping wishlist is Teapot Lane

23 Things That Annoy Me Greatly

August 15, 201337 Comments

I am listing all the things that are currently annoying me in the hope that it will be cathartic and they wont bother me as much anymore. This list is not definitive. It is just what is bothering me right now. They are mostly of a first world nature. You have been warned.

The friendly and helpful man in my local shop who read my name on my debit card , decided to shorten it and call me this version of my name every time I am in the shop. Every. Time.
Facebook check-ins. Especially this month. ” xxx checked in at Porto Banus” “xxx checked in at Terminal 2- Vegas Baby” ” xxx checked in at some hugely expensive bar because despite having children they can still afford expensive cocktails and have regular babysitters” The last one comes with accompanying photograph of expensive cocktail. When I am sitting on my couch in my jammies on another Friday night I do not find Facebook check-ins entertaining.
Via Apple.com
Siri- Its a sexist pig. Anytime I try to ask it something, the result – “I am sorry I do not understand the question“. If the husband asks Siri anything it produces the answer. As well as being misogynist it randomly shouts “I am sorry I do not understand” at 3am and scares the crap out of me.
Clothes manufacturers – hot pants and sequins and slash necks and inappropriate words on children’s clothes. My daughter is 7. She goes to the park. She does not got to nightclubs.
People who stand too close to me in a queue. I do not enjoy anyone breathing on my neck especially not strangers in a queue.
People who skip queues. I would rather they stay behind me and breathe on me than skip me.
Pat Kenny.
Revenue – stop taking so much of our money. It is destroying my soul.
When you buy an Aero in the shop and its be sitting beside the mint Aero’s so the mintiness escapes its packaging and seeps into your regular Aero leaving a minty taste. Mint has no business in chocolate. It is not enough that I can ignore mint chocolate bars as the mintiness spreads. If mint chocolate must exist it really should have its own separate shelf in the shop.
Via WiseChoiceuk
Mumford and Sons.
The sound my coffee machine makes sometimes in the morning when the air escapes. It is the sound of a small demon screaming inside the machine. Terrifies me every time.
People rubbing their eyes so much there is a noise. The noise of squelchy eyeballs. Don’t do it.
People trying to sell me Sky television or to switch electricity provider at the door. I will never buy anything at the door. Go away. Special shout out to the persistent salesman who suggested he talk to my husband instead of me. I loved him.
Hotels in Ireland who cannot comprehend the idea of a hotel room for a family of five.
PMT. It’s horrific. Every month. Horrific. Horrific for everyone involved. Those with PMT and those who have to live with person with PMT and when it finally goes its replaced with the menopause. Something to look forward to……
Shampoo advertising. The models have a host of hair stylists. Unless you have a host of hair stylists your hair is not going to look like theirs. Yet I still fall for the stupid advertising.
Nits.
Changing bed covers. My arms are too short. I cannot do it. The duvet cover does not go on properly and I cannot stretch my arms.
Strangers who ask me are all these kids mine. I only have three. Surely it is not a stretch to believe they are all mine.
Wonky Trolleys. Worse when you go to the supermarket and have no coin for the trolleys. You spend ten minutes trying to source a euro coin. You get one. You get trolley then bam its a wonky trolley. Joy and relief to frustration in seven seconds.
Yogurt. Its the thickness of it. It makes me uncomfortable.
People who complain about Ryanair. They charge for luggage and food, that is why your flight was €12. Accept and move on or pay the extra and fly with another airline.
When banks or other people ring you and then ask you 700 “security questions” . I answer them because I’m not confrontational but I always want to reply with “you rang me asshole”

The End.

First world problems , I know, but its good to get things off your chest, no? Feel free to share your annoyances rational or irrational, it might make you feel better……

Swimming Against The Tide

August 11, 201334 Comments

I try hard to be positive. Things will get better. Onwards and Upwards. This too will pass. Its taking its sweet time though passing, isn’t it?

Every month the wages run out quicker than the month before. Everything seems more expensive as each month goes on. The grocery bill creeps up that little bit more each month. Another hike is announced for gas. The car tax runs out but its back to school time so despite trying to spread the cost of books and uniforms and subscriptions to the school that aren’t really voluntary over a number of months, the amount over the months is high. So the car tax gets pushed back another month or two or three. The car continues to make a weird noise but there’s no money to bring it to the garage so the radio is turned up higher when driving to drown out the noise that shouldn’t be there and while ignoring the sound, I ignore the service light and petrol light too, most of the time.

There are worse off than me. Thousands worse off than me. I know that. I appreciate that. Doesn’t mean that some days I nearly feel like drowning in my lists of things that need to be bought or paid for or that some months there is a lot more going out and coming in no matter how hard I do the figures, they still don’t add up.

Like I said most days I am positive but some days its hard to be. I look at payslips and see how much revenue take from them. We earn, what many people would consider a decent household income, every month though it runs out. I throw another unopened bill onto the bookshelf to be dealt with later. I block it out on days like this and deal with it on days where it looks brighter.

This is my down day and this is my rant. I miss treats. I miss treats for me. Call me fickle and selfish but I miss the hairdressers and I miss restaurants and I miss new clothes and I wish I was going on holiday. Its my rant, I know there are worse than me but just for today I’m missing being able to buy a magazine or fresh flowers, just for the hell of it. People will read this who are a lot worse of than me. I am missing the hairdressers and people are struggling to feed their children. I know how that reads but its my dark day.I will get paid this week and be able to shop and pay my utility bills and and have a treat or two. There are thousands who won’t. I know that. I know in the grand scheme of things I am fortunate and blessed, doesn’t mean though that I can’t have a dark day.

My kids want for nothing. That is the main thing. Even in the middle of my dark days I am always grateful for that.

Tomorrow is another day. This too shall pass. Onwards and upwards. Right?

Via Ragerlaw

Close To My Heart

August 7, 201317 Comments

The theme of this years World Breastfeeding Week is peer support. To show support for World Breastfeeding Week, the Irish Parenting Bloggers group have been blog marching about our varied breastfeeding experiences, My breastfeeding days are over so I had no plans to blog about it but then reading all the other blog posts, I couldn’t not. I think this post is the final one of the Breastfeeding Blog March and you can read all the other posts here or on the Irish Parenting Bloggers Facebook Page. They are a great snapshot of experiences of breastfeeding in Ireland.

My three children all had a favourite breast to feed from and a favourite position to feed in. Snuggled in beside me feeding from the left side. I have my own theory why all three preferred this side; because it was the side closest to my heart.

I had ups and downs with feeding. Bad medical advice plagued my first breastfeeding experience. When I realised that breast feeding advice and support was not widely available in the Irish healthcare system, I sought out the advice and support elsewhere.

The theme of this years World Breastfeeding Week is peer support. I didn’t have peer support when I was feeding. With my first and second child, I knew hardly anybody else who was breastfeeding. Very few of my friends breast-fed. I do not know anybody in my extended circle of friends who breastfed as long as I did. Isn’t that bizarre? I think it is. Peer support, for me, was available online if not in real life. I really hope when my daughters breastfeed they will have support everywhere, from friends, from family, from healthcare staff and from strangers who sit beside them in a restaurant or park bench, when they are feeding.

It is an emotive topic, breastfeeding. I fielded so many comments and questions over the years. ” Are you STILL breastfeeding?” being the most popular. People feel they can make comments like that. Isn’t that bizarre when you think about it? I would never ask a friend, acquaintance or stranger ” Are you giving that baby FORMULA?” Could you imagine the response I would get? I wouldn’t ask though because its none of my business. Yet because I was breastfeeding the world and his wife could question me. Bizarre.

Most people know the benefits of breastfeeding. They are listed in every pregnancy book and you will find flyers and info sheets in maternity hospitals and clinics, there are lots of benefits and facts that aren’t listed though and they should be. Here are some additional things pregnant mama’s should know

In my experience, it is fact, you get more rest when you are breastfeeding. Yes you are solely responsible for feeding your child but you need to sit down and feed numerous times a day. Just sit and do nothing else. When you master feeding lying down you can even snooze when feeding.
Pregnancy weight literally fell of me in the first couple of weeks. Like magic.
Food is sensational in the first few weeks of breastfeeding. Sensational. Apparently it can be likened to having the munchies after smoking something herbal. Apparently.
If your baby is crying, you offer the boob, they stop crying = magic!
You can breastfeed anywhere. Anywhere.
For some women breastfeeding is problem free, for others it is a learned skill. Similar to learning how to ride a bike or drive a car. It doesn’t always come naturally, it can take a while to master. It took me a while, get help if you need it.
Never give up on a bad day.
Medical advice and support is hit or miss in Ireland ( In my experience more miss than hit) but there is support out there, you just need to find it. The internet is your breastfeeding friend.
Unless you are one of the very small percentage of women who cannot feed for a medical reason, you can breastfeed. Some women will need additional support but almost all breastfeeding problems are surmountable. It’s also very much a confidence game. It’s what we have boobs and nipples for. You can physically meet all your baby’s nutritonal needs = magic. Possibly the closest thing to a super power most of us will ever experience.
Just because your first breastfeeding experience wasn’t great doesn’t mean your next one won’t be. Do not let it put you off breastfeeding your second child. Like most things in parenting, second time round is usually easier.

Breastfeeding my children is one of the loveliest things I have done. There were days it was sore or difficult, there were days I felt somewhat restricted and there were days where I felt I was just being touched too damn much. Those days were rare and far between though. I never expected to but I loved breastfeeding. I sometimes feel sad I will never breastfeed again. I loved it. Nobody tells you will love it, you will though, you will love it and you will miss it. I sometimes even miss the middle of the night feeds, when it felt like everyone else in the world was asleep apart from me and the child, close to my heart, smiling up at me. Magical.

The Clothesline

Chronicles of an overwhelmed mother

Month: August 2013