More Shitty Parenting……


S is for Shameful Parenting

S is for Shitty Parenting


My parenting skills have slipped to an all time low. Its a combination of the summer holidays, readjusting to life with four children and general pure laziness……but we are living in anarchy at the minute.


I walked into the sitting room and they were stuck into Toddler’s and Tiara’s ( a really ridiculous programme about kids beauty pageants) . There was a 7-year-old on screen in full evening wear and make up crying. “Why is she crying?” I asked. “Her spray tan isn’t even” my 8-year-old replied. I questioned should they be watching this and told them I didn’t think it was appropriate. Their reply “but we watch it every morning when you and the baby are still in bed”. Right so. I sat down and watched it with them. It’s ridiculous but weirdly it sucks you in.

My kids new role models via

My kids new role models

There is a large green area outside our house. I allow the kids to go out as I can see them from the window. I was feeding the baby when they told me they were going out the other day. I let them at it. Five minutes later, I looked out and there was the four year old strutting around the green in her dressing gown and these fake glittery ugg boots. I  had foolishly assumed she was dressed.


The boy got his hair cut the other day. It’s lovely. Then I noticed a huge brown mark on his neck. My first thought was how I had not noticed he had such a big birth mark before then I realised ,no,it was just dirt. A big dirty mark all over his neck. I do wash him, obviously not properly anymore.

I was getting ready to go to bed one night last week. I assumed the children were asleep because it was 10.45pm. They weren’t, they were in the playroom,the only reason I went in there was to check on the dog.  I came close to going to bed without realising they were still up. I would like to think the husband may have noticed but I am not 100% confident.

I forgot to make lunch one day this week and breakfast a couple of weeks ago. I only realised about the lunch when the husband came home and I heard the kids telling him how hungry they were. In my defense, they snack all day and they hadn’t mentioned they were hungry or mentioned the lack of lunch until this point. This point was at 6pm.

Right now, the four year old has paint all over her stomach. The six year old still has the dirt on his neck and the 8 year old is dressed like someone who watches too much Toddlers and Tiara’s. All three of them have used the word asshole in the correct context at least once today. Asshole is a word I overuse. There is nobody to blame but myself.

I’m not proud by just how much my parenting skills have degenerated in the last couple of weeks. It needs to stop now. Any day now.

Please someone tell me your parenting skills slip in the school holidays? Please?

19 thoughts on “More Shitty Parenting……

  1. dirtyrottenparenting says:

    Just this morning, in an attempt to stop my kids from grabbing a particular toy out of each other’s hands, I grabbed it out of my son’s hand instead of telling him to hand it over. Then they both ended up wailing. Mornings are never my finest time of day… I blame it on the pressure of getting everyone out of the house with all of their necessary crap, while ensuring that I look mostly professional, all on a tight schedule. I’d prefer not to think about all the neighbors listening to me scream at them to put their damn shoes on already.

  2. The Silver Voice says:

    Toddlers & Tiaras aside, I think you are a wonderful parent as you have grown such self-sufficient children who allow you go get on with the intense business of minding a baby! They say that a clean child is not a happy child so full marks on the dirty neck!

  3. Amanda Martin (writermummy) says:

    I agree, I think it sounds just fine. Relax, enjoy the baby and the holidays and leave a loaf of bread and a bag of raisins out for if your kids are hungry. (I often forget lunch or tea for the kids because they’re on different schedules every day, sometimes having tea at nursery, and they stay up late in the summer, especially when it’s too hot to put them to bed. I only bath them when I have to because it’s such an ordeal. And that’s in term time. I just had my daughter’s hair cut because I know it won’t get brushed for weeks when school finishes next week)

  4. speccy says:

    Wait until they discover Dance Moms… Spurs Fan is off (teacher) and they’ve got him addicted to Homes Under the Hammer.
    They may watch too much TV.
    Yours seem to be fab, responsible, caring kiddos. Well done you 🙂

  5. Aedin says:

    It’s terrible to admit but there is something really funny about small children cursing.Also mortifying though if the small children happen to be yours.Thank god Mini’s words aren’t properly formed yet.Im nearly sure she dropped the f-bomb the other day.It came out as “uck” which I managed to pass off as “sock”-we were at a therapy appointment!-but I really have to stop cursing in front of my kids.

  6. deaniedarling says:

    Thanks. Ur low standards cheered me right up. Feeling a lot less crappy about the dinner i forgot….the filth and the two kids who have wandered off while i was reading this. Sigh. Its not been a good week.

  7. socialbridge says:

    I’m all for your style of parenting. Just love the idea of paint on tummies and dressing in whatever on the green. They’ll look back on this as a great Summer when they are creative artists of great renown and they’ll be thanking you for the loving freedom you gave them!

  8. simplyhomemadenic says:

    I’m breathing a sigh of relief here, I fond such great comfort in knowing someone elses house is as mad as my own. I’ve just passed my 8 year old sons room as I came downstairs this morning to see him still in yesterdays clothes in bed! He only got his hair cut yesterday too, at his request, he was having trouble seeing in front of him. The two year old has taken over the tv, thankfully its Mickey Mouse and Nick Jnr, not toddlers and tiaras, though Mr Simply Homemade nearly wets himself when he hears the ad for Zack & Quack, and last Summer was quite disturbing as we spent it on the hunt for Crystal Mickey……….maybe Toddlers & Tiara’s ain’t so bad afterall.!!
    The language has gone to pot, the 9 year old girl is forever telling the 8 year old boy he’s only a bitch, the 2 year old gives out to us all for shouting, the 1 year old beats us all and I think Ive lost the 14 year old, Flowers in the Attic, springs to mind with her, only we hear her we wouldn’t know she’s here.
    I do feed them though………sometimes 😉

  9. SusieChopstick says:

    I’m a shizophrenic parent. They get such different sides of me with regard to the morning routine. I’m a teacher, and so my holidays coincide with theirs. I work 20 miles away and my other half has usually left in the morning before me, so during the school year we have to get up a 6:30 to get the three of them out in time.
    So during the school year, I shout at them to get up, I shout at them to dress, hurry up, eat breakfast, get in the car. When we come home in the evening, I am like a sergeant major trying to get them to finish homework, change clothes, eat dinner, come on, come on, it’s bedtime, why didn’t you tell me you needed 55 individual photos for tomorrow? Does this teacher not realise that we’re working? When does she think I’m going to have the time to root out a photo of your christening and one for every consecutive year? No, you can’t have a cookie. Have a piece of fruit. Go to sleep, no you can’t have a drink, you drank the entire carton of juice before bed!

    During the holidays it’s possible that I’ll still be in bed at 10, with my 5 year old knocking on my door asking when’s breakfast while the 8 year old entertains the 2 year old with every choking hazard we have in this house. Ok, want a bowl of Cheerios? No problem. It’s 12 o clock love, do you think you should get dressed in case Granny comes in? Lunch? In a little while, I’m reading this. You want a cookie? Sure, sure we’re on holidays. Come on now love, it’s 10:30, you really should be in bed.
    Our kids definitely don’t know what to make of me! And it’s going to get worse!

Leave a Reply