Why do people persist in telling me things I already know and/or stating the bleedin’ obvious. This week alone, I have been told the following. I just say yes, the bits in bold, I say in my head. My tolerance levels this week are low, very low.
You look tired. Yes. I know that, I have a mirror. I am so tired that if I started telling you just how tired I am we would both end up crying from the horror and also, thanks ,clearly my make up and showered state is going nothing to hide it.
That royal baby has been christened already, course you haven’t gotten around to christening the baby yet. Yes. There are some ways in which myself and the royal family in the UK differ which is why they probably got around to baptising their child a bit quicker than I have.
You have a lot of helpers. Yes. As my children ransack supermarket shelves throwing additional sugary treats into the trolley as they are off their heads on sugary doughnuts. Yes. They are a HUGE help in this soul crushing bi-weekly money burning, tolerance testing exercise that is food shopping and they didn’t pay for those doughnuts.
That’s a lot of laundry. Yes. Thank god you pointed that out, I never would have realised.
The baby has no socks on, her feet are freezing. Yes. Ring up and report me to someone, I double dog dare you.
You’re still breastfeeding. Yes. That is the reason why I am sitting in your company with one boob out.
Is that your dog? Yes. That is why I am walking it and four children at the same time, really, I am unlikely to steal pets to add to things I am responsible for.
Did you change the car? Yes. No we painted and shrunk the other one.
She will choke on that. *smiles* Do you actually think I would hand my child something that could potentially kill her or is this some weird freaky premonition/ spell you are casting like the bad fairy in Sleeping Beauty? Because that is just weird.
Are you sure you are not having another baby Mammy? Yes. PLEASE , FOR THE LOVE OF THE BABY JESUS (WHO YOUR SISTER DOESN’T KNOW AS SHE IS NOT BAPTISED ) JUST LET ME SHOWER ALONE WITH MY CHUBBY BELLY.