Swearing like a trouper

Swearing like a trooper

A while back myself and the seven-year old had to make a last-minute dash to the GP surgery on a Monday night. A sudden onset of something that the pharmacist said needed a GP. We got to the surgery a couple of hours after it had closed but our doctor works late and I knew he would see us.

It was after 8pm on a dark wet night. One too bright florescent light was glaring  and the usual noise of the waiting room was missing.  No radio, no chat just complete silence. It was just the two of us and two other people waiting. No phones beeping. Total quiet. 

We had not come prepared. Within 10 minutes, the seven-year old had picked up and discarded the small selection of kids books and toys  in the waiting room and I had brought nothing with me to distract her with.  She started to look at the other two people in the room, I could sense she was about to break the silence by asking me questions about them. The waiting room in our GP’s surgery is a small room.

I found a notebook and pen in my bag and we played Hangman. As we where playing I started to question was Hangman even played anymore.  Prisoners are no longer hung for their crimes. I began to think the other two people waiting were judging me but better to have them judge me than for the seven year to judge them in her loud whispers to me. ” Mom……..see that man beside you, why do you think he is here, do you think his head…….” 

So Hangman it was.

I tailored the game towards the seven-year old. Stuck to Disney titles and lots of clues. The seven-year old didn’t.

It was her turn. The sound of the pen on the paper was the only noise.

She went with a four letter word. Grand. I guessed letters, she said no. I asked for a clue. She said it was a four letter word.

_ U _ K

I eventually copped what the word is . I suspect the other two people waiting on the doctor copped quicker.

I whispered  * Oh is it……..  fuck

The whispering stopped.

Yes Mammy it is, it is FUCK. YOU WIN

Then we sat in further silence for another ten minutes. There was definite judgement. Her spelling  though was perfect. Winning.

16 thoughts on “Swearing like a trooper

  1. The Other Emma says:

    The then 2 year old was in the waiting area at the Eye and Ear Hospital (yes, the huge echoing room that children and adults share while waiting) and he knocked over a chair and announced by roaring “Ah for FUCK’s sake” at the top of his little cherubic voice. There was very definite judging going on.

  2. Amanda S. says:

    My oldest sister taught kindergarten (4-5 year olds, in the US) for more than 30 years. The kids had to learn to write their names – and poor Derrick Kitzmiller had his work cut out for him. He brought his paper up, and Ellen had to tell him he didn’t have it quite right. He looked at the paper and announced “God damnit! Had that son of a bitch right the first time.”

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